Gazing at Jesus
Hey guys, sorry I have not written in while. Hope you are all doing well and find yourself hungry for your Creator and Savior.
So a little update on my life would be that the Lord continues to teach me things every single day, and He doesn’t miss a second. I’ve been learning a lot about the Lord’s love. I know that seems like it would be Christianity 101, but there is so much that I thought I knew but don’t and so much I thought I didn’t need to know, and I do. If that makes any sense….I don’t know, but I try and explain.
I found myself this past week or two, or actually off and on for a while, overwhelmed with who I am and who I really want to be. I wanted to love Jesus with everything, and so much of the time, I felt like I didn’t. I kept looking at all of my downfalls and everything that kept me from being the women I desired to be and who God desired me to be. Then I realized that I was forgetting something. I was so busy looking at myself and all of my problems that the very act of doing that was the very thing that was keeping me from walking in victory. My heart was becoming detached from Jesus for this reason: I was not gazing at Him. I was just looking at my darkness and not looking at His beauty.
All my emotions, Jesus wants them the way they are. He doesn’t want them to be gone; He wants them to be channeled differently. All my weaknesses are ok as long as I don’t gaze at them. If I look at myself, I smother my energy and love for Him and focus it all on myself. Jesus can handle my emotions for Him, my love for Him, my passion for Him. He desires my love…so how can I deny Him it?
I am reminded of this song that Misty Edwards sings. “I have one life to live, and all I have to give to you is love.” So my prayer has been; “I want to fall deeper in love with you, Jesus.” My other prayer is that I would stop looking at myself and my woundedness and look at the majesty and beauty of God!
Little Update
I am going to try and make this shorter than the other posts. This is just an update of what we are doing and what God has been teaching us.
We all have been going through Song of Solomon teaching. It is probably the most wonderful thing I have ever studied in my life. It is about romance between God and the bride of Christ, trials, end times, intimacy, and the passion of God’s heart toweard us.
I do not want to write everything down today, but I will eventually get everything down here. I really want everyone that I know to understand this because it is so amazing! This post is to sort of wet your appetites for more to come.
For our Song of Solomon study, we first started out in Genesis chapter 2 because of the paralellism. One thing that really stuck out to me from this study was the concept that we were created out of the overflow of God’s delight because God desires a companion. Another prominent point that absolutely struck me was that Adam is brought into God’s emotion for partnership. He feels what it is to desire and long deeply for something. Longing for a companion is not a sin. It is not lacking on our part. It is a God-given emotion. This revelation is a picture of God’s longing for the body of Christ.
We have been studying the first few chapters in Song of Solomon. It is amazing! The first thing we learn in the first chapter is that our success is not determined by what we do or do not do for the kingdom. It is defined by our love for Jesus and His love for us.
Like I said, this is all to just introduce the study. I will go into depth in a few days. I’m sure by now, after reading those few sentences, you are hungry to learn what I have been learning or at least curious!
We had prayer last night for children, parents, etc. that they would have a hunger for the Lord. I prayed that children would dream dreams of Jesus and that the pleasures of their games, TV shows, movies etc, would grow dim compared to the pleasure of Jesus.
This past Friday, Jordan, John and I led intercessary worship for the Encountering God Service. It was incredible and the Holy Spirit came in our midst. Some of our friends from Liberty came down, and our friend Emaury Wood sang over us. It was beautiful.
I would love some comments on any one of my posts or just let me know that you have read them. I love you all. God bless.
