Gazing at Jesus
Hey guys, sorry I have not written in while. Hope you are all doing well and find yourself hungry for your Creator and Savior.
So a little update on my life would be that the Lord continues to teach me things every single day, and He doesn’t miss a second. I’ve been learning a lot about the Lord’s love. I know that seems like it would be Christianity 101, but there is so much that I thought I knew but don’t and so much I thought I didn’t need to know, and I do. If that makes any sense….I don’t know, but I try and explain.
I found myself this past week or two, or actually off and on for a while, overwhelmed with who I am and who I really want to be. I wanted to love Jesus with everything, and so much of the time, I felt like I didn’t. I kept looking at all of my downfalls and everything that kept me from being the women I desired to be and who God desired me to be. Then I realized that I was forgetting something. I was so busy looking at myself and all of my problems that the very act of doing that was the very thing that was keeping me from walking in victory. My heart was becoming detached from Jesus for this reason: I was not gazing at Him. I was just looking at my darkness and not looking at His beauty.
All my emotions, Jesus wants them the way they are. He doesn’t want them to be gone; He wants them to be channeled differently. All my weaknesses are ok as long as I don’t gaze at them. If I look at myself, I smother my energy and love for Him and focus it all on myself. Jesus can handle my emotions for Him, my love for Him, my passion for Him. He desires my love…so how can I deny Him it?
I am reminded of this song that Misty Edwards sings. “I have one life to live, and all I have to give to you is love.” So my prayer has been; “I want to fall deeper in love with you, Jesus.” My other prayer is that I would stop looking at myself and my woundedness and look at the majesty and beauty of God!
